Department of You Can't Make It Up

RAT SCABIES and the HOLY GRAIL Rock journalist Christopher Dawes and his friend/neighbor Rat Scabies (of the punk rock band The Damned) are on a serious quest to find the Holy Grail. Scabies became interested in finding it after researching the "mystery of Rennes-le-Château," a town in France where a poor priest suddenly became fabulously wealth in the mid 19th century. Rumor has it that he discovered a treasure trove which included the Holy Grail. Last year, Dawe's wrote an excellent book about Scabies' search for the Grail, called Rat Scabies and the Holy Grail. Scabies didn't find the Grail, but he and Dawes have not given up the search. To find their efforts, they are auctioning a 2% share of the Grail, should they find it, on eBay. The language of the contract is excellent: (3) If the Holy Grail manifests itself as a cup or a chalice or a bowl or some other kind of vessel for holding liquid, it is hereby agreed that: (i) The Grail Stakeholder will be allowed one sip from the vessel of a beverage of the Grail Stakeholder’s choosing, which beverage to be provided by the Grail Stakeholder at the Grail Stakeholder’s sole expense. The Grail Stakeholder may thereby gain eternal life and the healing of all physical ailments. However, because the Grail Finders cannot be held responsible for the mysterious powers of the Grail and all that, the Grail Finders shall not be held responsible for any failure on the part of the Holy Grail to give eternal life to the Grail Stakeholder, or to alleviate physical ailments, and the Grail Stakeholder hereby warrants to make no claims of any kind against the Grail Finders in the event of such failure.