The Merry Muses of Caledonia

As will probably be obvious by now, I'm partial to the odd bit of poetry, 'cos hey that's just the kind of pretentious guy I am. But here's some poetry for folk who don't like poetry - and not only that but it's our national Bard - and the reason you'll like it even if you don't like poetry is because it's lewd, indecent and libidinous. 'The Merry Muses of Caledonia' is Burns enjoying himself writing dirty verse - it's highly recommended, but not for your maiden aunt. Of course, this being a public forum, I'm relatively restricted on the example I can give, but, with a charming verse written from the point of view o' a lassie, here goes:

THERE CAM A SOGER

There cam a soger here to stay,

He swore he wadna steer me;

But, lang before the break o' day,

He cuddl'd muddl'd near me:

He set a stiff thing to my wame,

I docht na bide the bends o't;

But lang before the grey morn cam,

I soupl'd baith the ends o't

(Sub-ed - pl find out what 'steer', 'wame', 'docht' and 'soupl'd' mean please)