Dedicated to Linda and Carla....

....who thought this story was funny. Some years ago, my friend Stuart P., a solicitor in West Lothian, was visiting the home of a client to discuss some legal matters. The client lived in a fairly rough area. When Stuart arrived, he knocked on the front door, and as the door was opened, the family dog which had been in the garden came into the house with Stuart. He was shown into the living room and once he and his client and some other members of the family were seated he began to discuss the legal affairs. He couldn't help noticing out of the corner of his eye that the dog had made itself comfortable in a corner next to the television set, and was proceeding to defaecate enthusiastically and copiously. Within seconds, the stench which filled the room was making Stuart's eyes water, and he seriously wondered whether he might pass out. Having completed its satanic labours, the dog lay down to sleep contentedly while Stuart fought for consciousness, meanwhile wondering what kind of people these were who would allow their dog to behave like this. Somehow, the ordeal came to an end, and it came time for Stuart to go. As he was being shown out, his client said, "Don't forget your dog, Mr P." Consternation all round when Stuart said, "It's no' my dog".